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Saving Private Christmas
' ' ' ''Saving Private Christmas ''will be the 8th episode and 1st Christmas special of Len & Rig that will air in December 2014 Summary After accidentally being brought back to life by Bart, Quillgin plots revenge on Mordecai and Rigby, using a clone of his evil box for Christmas. But on Christmas Eve, Quillgin drops his box, which lands on Mordecai's head. Mordecai tests the box and realizes that he must reunite with Rigby to destroy it, but Quillgin is hot on his trail, prompting Lisa to write a letter to say that Mordecai's life is in danger. Mordecai doesn't listen to Lisa, but later regrets it when he (and later, Lisa) get kidnapped by Quillgin, so it's up to Rigby, Lenny, Anais Sunnydand, CJ, Hell's Satans, Bart, Benson, Homer, Santa, Hayley Smith, Peter Griffin, Barney, Donna, Cleveland, Cleveland Jr, Roberta, Rallo, Meg, Neil, Marge, Skips and Eileen to rescue Mordecai, Lisa and Christmas - Again! Transcript (Scene shows two boys at a lava pit. The boys are revealed as Bart and Milhouse) Bart: Woah! Milhouse, look! A dead body! Milhouse: A dead body? At a lava pit? At Christmas? Bart: Yeah and look, a present with nothing inside! Milhouse: You know what I think? Bart: (As he got the box) What? Milhouse: I think he is the dead body of Quillgin! Bart: Who? Milhouse: Quillgin was Santa's toymaker who lost his job after an ugly test with what I think is your box! Bart: Say what now? Milhouse: And he was killed with his attempted revenge at what I think is this lava pit! Bart: Milhouse, Quillgin is just a crappy urban legend! Milhouse: But Bart, this is true. (The body rise in Quillgin's form) Quillgin: Yes, it's all true. Now give me the box! (Bart and Milhouse turn around, scream and run, leaving the box behind. Quillgin picks it up, adds dark magic and flees. Len & Rig title card appears with the title. Scene switches to the park) Zim: Well what I want for christmas was a megadoomer X-2.5. Gumball: Thats awesome, but what I want for christmas is... a PS5 a future console by that is also created by Nintendo. Mordecai: I thought the PS consoles are by Sony. Gumball: Whatever! Merry Xmas! (Zim and Gumball exit) Mordecai: Happy new year! (Bart and Milhouse appear as they run) Milhouse: Quillgin's alive! (Zim and Gumball got confused) Zim: Who Quillgin? Gumball: Haved no idea? Mordecai: Hey! Aren't you supposed to leave?! Zim: Okay (Zim and Gumball leave) Milhouse: We found his body at a lava pit! Bart: And Milhouse told me about an God awful Urban legend about a toymaker elf who made an evil present and was destroyed by a lava pit! Milhouse: And we ran when we saw him! (A box is seen falling and hitting on Mordecai's head) Mordecai: Wander what's in it. (Mordecai looks in) Milhouse: (Stealing the box) Bart, the box! Mordecai: Hey! Gimme that box! (Milhouse and Mordecai fight over the box) Bart: Shut up! (Mordecai goes to his senses) Mordecai: But the box was destroyed! Milhouse: Did I mention that Bart did this?! Mordecai: No, actually. Milhouse: Urban legend! Phooey! Mordecai: Milhouse, do you know what this means? Milhouse: No. Mordecai: It means that I have to reunite with Rigby so that we could destroy the box! (Scene switches to a room filled with cartoon characters, even Disney ones, with Kermit the Frog holding a book) Kermit: And so, the bird was on a mission to reunite with the racoon to... Homer: Destroy the box! Kermit: Yes, Homer. But what he didn't know is that the elf was hot on his trail. (Scene switches to the park where Lisa entered and followed Quillgin) Kermit: (Off-screen) A girl, a yellow one, followed the elf to the footsteps, hiding cleverly behind him. Quillgin: 6 footprintss. This is where the box was. Four human, Two bird, box gone. We need to follow the footprints to go to the destination. (Lisa grabs a file as Quillgin leaves and sees a plan on destroying Mordecai, Rigby and Christmas. Lisa gasps and Quillgin grabs the file back) Quillgin: How much did you see? Lisa: Uh, nothing incriminating. Quillgin: Good. (Quillgin leaves as Lisa runs. Scene switches to Lisa's room) Kermit: (Off screen) And so, the girl... (Scene switches to the room, in which Bernard interuppted) Bernard: She wrote a letter saying that the bird's life is in danger Woody: Well, after you were married to your partner, YOU MOVED ON IN AUSTRALIA!!!!!!!!!! Buzz: WOODY!!!!!!!!! Barney: This has nothing to do with Austrailia! Kermit: Uh, anyway, the bird was running to his first stop, a house with a drunk. (Scene switches to Mordecai as he runs to the house. The lawyer entered into the room) Blue hair lawyer: Well, well, well! Thought you could make an adaption of The Snow Queen and get away with it? Benard: Wait! Blue hair lawyer: What? Kermit: We're just listening to a story about a friend reuniting with a friend to destroy an evil box! Lawyer: Alright, frog! Your off the hook. (Lawyer leaves as Kermit cheers) Kermit: So, uh, anyway.... (Scene switches to Barney's room. Barney belches) Barney: Wonder what happens now. (Mordecai enters) Barney: Santa? Mordecai: Sorry, Barney. I need to Borrow your phone for any messages Barney: Thats alright. Mordecai: Any messages from one Rigby. (Barney spits out his beer) Barney: What?! But I don't even know Rigby! Mordecai: That's okay, I found messages from Lenny. By the way, Rigby is a small brown raccoon that is a size of a child. Barney: Oh. Mordecai: (While reading Lenny's messages) Hey guys! Guess what? I got a companion for Stoolbend! His name is Rigby and he's a small brown raccoon that is a size of a child despite being 23! Lenny. Next stop: Cleveland's house in Quahog! Barney: But why? Mordecai: Because Cleveland used to live in Stoolbend, Twice! Barney: (Belches) (Scene switches to the room) Shrek: So, let me get this straight. A bird is returning to a raccoon? Kermit: Yeah. (Scene switches to a forest, as Mordecai and a hooded creature ran together to Carol of the Bells) Kermit: (Off Screen) So the bird and the hooded ran at forest. The creature got out a letter (The hooded creature tried to get it on Mordecai's other hand, only to catch his eye and the hood was down. The hooded creature is revealed to be Lisa and, as a result, she ran. Mordecai holds the letter, reading Your life is in danger) Mordecai: (Throwing the letter away) I don't have time for jokes, Lis! I need to get to Cleveland's pronto! (As Lisa ran, she runs into Quillgin) Quillgin: What did you put on the letter, brat?! Lisa: Uh, no-no-nothing. (A piece of paper flies onto Quillgin's face and is revealed as Lisa's letter) Quillgin: YOU INFONDYLE LITTLE SNOOP!!!!! (Scene shows Lisa tied to a tree) Quillgin: See if you could interfere with my plans now, Blondie! Lisa: Let me go! Quillgin: Sorry, but I've got another one to handle. (Scene switches to Barney's room) Barney: But I don't wanna tell! I got a bar to attend. Quillgin: And? Barney: I'm spending Christmas with the items. Quillgin: Thats all I need to know. (Leaves) Barney: Also, The jay is heading to Quahog. (Quillgin stops and smiles evilly) Quillgin: Come again? (Scene switches to the room) Dipper: I can't Handel is anymore! When is the bird gonna reunite with the raccoon?! Everyone: SOON!!!!!!! Kermit: Anyway... (Scene switches to Lisa) Lisa: Come on! Come on! (A revive of an engine is heard) Lisa: (Gasps) Mom?! Dad?! (A motorcycle gang whoop and enter) Leader: We're the Hell's Satans out of... Oh. Hey Lisa! Lisa: (In dismay) Meathook! Meathook: And I just want to cut off this rope because of the hook! Lisa: (In dismay) Thanks a lot! Meathook: (While unting NLisa) ow, what's the matter, man? Lisa: We gotta be quick! An evil elf is out to destroy one of my friends and... Meathook: And what?! And what?! Lisa: And Christmas Meathook: Woah, man! We gotta stomp that elf! Lisa: (While getting on a man's motorcycle) I tried to warn him via letter, but he won't listen to me! Meathook: Well get comfy on Ramrod (Whispers to Lisa) and next you write a letter, do it on e-mail (Hell's Satans whoop as the scene switches to Cleveland's living room) Cleveland: Deck the halls with belles and holly Donna: La la la la la... (Someone knocks on the door) Cleveland: Oh for the love of God! (Scene switches outside. Mordecai knocks on the door until he accidentally knocks three times on Cleveland's head) Cleveland: You can stop now! Mordecai: Cleveland, can I borrow you van? (Mordecai points at Cleveland's House Guys Quahog moving truck) Cleveland: What?! Out of this blizzard?! Nah! Mordecai: But I need to get to get to Stoolbend to reunite with Rigby so we could destroy the box! Cleveland: What's so harmful about a little present? (Cleveland looks into the box as Mordecai snatches it from him) Mordecai: No, Cleveland! Cleveland: Give me the box, Mordecai! (Cleveland and Mordecai fight for the box as Peter enters) Peter: For God sakes, Cleveland! Don't act like a hippie fighting a giant rock! Mordecai: Peter's right, Cleveland! (Cleveland comes back to his senses) Cleveland: Okay, okay! Stoolbend it is! Mordecai: OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Cleveland and Mordecai enter the van) Cleveland: Next stop, Stoolbend, Virginia! (Cleveland starts the van and leaves Quahog as the scene switches to Cleveland's old house in Stoolbend) Mordecai: Cleveland, please stop the van! Cleveland: Are you gonna walk the rest of the way? Mordecai: No, Cleveland! Because this is the house Rigby lives in! Cleveland: No No No No No NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Mordecai opens the door and Meg was there) Mordecai: Meg! Meg: Lemme guess. You thought that this is Rigby's house? Mordecai: Yeah until you came in! Meg: Well I could already tell that he's living in an apartment down the road! Cleveland: Thanks, Meg. (Scene switches to Cleveland's Living room, in which Donna and the children are tied to chairs) Donna: I know nothing about Stoolbend! Can ya let us go? Roberta: But Mom, we lived there before! Quillgin: Black girl's right, Donna. So, where's... Donna: Here's the map! (Scene switches to the room. Finn and Jake enter) Finn: Sorry we were late, Kermit! Kermit: Well let's repeat the story. Everyone: NO!!!!!!!!! Kermit: So uh, anyway... (Scene shows Meg and Neil tied to chairs) Meg: Look, we don't want any trouble! Neil: Yeah, so let us go! Quillgin: Not until you show me where they went! I just can't believe that a boy brought me, my minions and the box back to life. So tell me! Meg: Okay, okay! Apartments down the road! Quillgin: (Mimicing Mr Burns) Excellent! (Scene switches to the apartments) Mordecai: Holy crap! I never knew that it would be that high Cleveland: I'll wait for you in the van Mordecai: Thanks, Cleveland Cleveland: Thanks (Mordecai leaves and enters inside while Quillgin enters) Quillgin: Merry Christmas, Brown Cleveland: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! (Quillgin slams Cleveland into the Van) Cleveland: HEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Scene switches to Mordecai at a door) Mordecai: Door 293. This is it. (Knocks on the door) Rigby? (Quillgin enters) Mordecai: Rigby? (Quillgin grabs Mordecai's chest) Mordecai: Hey, let go! (Turns around to realize that it is Quillgin and gasps) RIGBY!!!!!!!!!! RIGBY!!!!!!!!!!! (Quillgin muffles Mordecai's cries as he faints) Quillgin: Your a bad boy this year! (Quillgin leaves while evilly laughing and leaves with Mordecai's unconcience body, not realizing that he left the box behind) (Rigby arrived) Rigby: Hey, a box! Lenny: For us! (Lisa appears) Lisa: Don't even think about opening that box! Lenny and Rigby: Why? (Look in the box) Woah! Rigby: Hey! Gimme the box! Lenny: Never! (Lenny and Rigby fight over the box) Lisa: SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Lenny and Rigby come to their senses) Rigby: I thought we... Lisa: You did until Bart brought all of this back to life! (Anais Sunnydand appears) Anais: Hey, Rigby! Hi Lenny! Lenny: Hi! Anais: So, i was wondering of I could watch your action Christmas show! Lenny: What?! But I thought you did! Anais: Phuchoo! No a No! Lisa: Let's find out, shall we? Down the elevator! (Everyone goes down the elevator right to Ground Floor) Anais: Hi, uh, who watched an action Christmas Show? Receptionist: No-one did! But this is what really happened! (She shows Mordecai's kidnapping, which is on a security camera) Rigby: MORDECAI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lisa: He didn't listen to me! (Scene switches to the room) Dipper: Wow! They finally reunite! Kermit: Uh, sorta, anyway.... (Scene shows Mordecai waking up) Mordecai: Huh? Wha? Quillgin: About time you woke up! We gotta long night ahead of us Mordecai: Let me go! Quillgin: Let you go?! What do you mean?! We got a whole night! I'll destroy both Christmas and you, thanks to the... the... (realizes that the box is gone) THE BOX!!!!!!!!! (Having Mordecai look at him face to face) Where did you hide it?! Mordecai: I did not hide anything (Quillgin stops looking at Mordecai) Quillgin: How could I be so stupid?! Mordecai: Because you are a dumb idiot! You destroyed the moment of me reuniting with Rigby! I should have listened to Lisa so that I could destroy the box straight away at East Pines! But I was too late to realize that my life, Rigby's life, the whole park's life and Christmas are in danger! Quillgin: Well at least Snoopy is still hooked to the tree! And don't you ever think of a plan to get away! I've hidden the key to the hand-cuffs! And at least I've tied your hands to the back! Never get away until we get to the lava pit! UNDERSTAND??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Mordecai: Ye-ye-yeah (Scene switches to Marge's living room, as Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree is playing in the background and the Simpson family, exclude Lisa, prepare for their Christmas party) Marge: Bart get this right this time, okay? Bart: Okay, okay! Marge: Now! Bart: Jingle belles, Batman smells, Robin lays an egg! Marge: Take 294 (Someone knocks on the door. Marge opens to door to reveal Benson) Benson: Hey, Marge. Have you seen Mordecai lately? Marge: No. Have YOU seen Lisa lately? Benson: Nah (Whooping is heard. Homer screams) Homer: The Hell's Satans! Marge: What is it, Homer? Meathook: We brought Lisa home, Marge! (Lisa gets off Ramrod) Marge: Well that's, uh, good Meathook: Also, we brought three others (Lenny, Rigby and Anais get off the other bikers) Benson: RIGBY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Rigby: We don't have time for this! We got a little something from the apartments! Anais: And it's on tape as well (Scene switches to the TV, in which the gang watch the tape) Benson: That has got to be fake! That elf is dead, Rigby! (Marge enters with the phone) Marge: It isn't fake, Benson! The apartments says the tape is real! Benson: What did it say!? (Snatches the phone) Hello? Yes! The tape is fake, I know. It isn't?!?!?!?!?!?!?! HOLY CRAP, WHOSE THE JERK RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Lisa: Bart and Milhouse Bart: SQUEALER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lisa: What!? Benson: Well, we gotta leave quick! No one steals something from the park, especially one of it's workers The gang: Yeah! Bart: Let's just go and get this over with. Rigby: And we got the box (Scene switches to the Simpsons basement as the gang walk out of the house off screen) Mordecai: (Whispering) Please, Rigby Quillgin: (Whispering) Yeah, Riggs. Make sure you fail (Scene switches to the room) Stan: Frog, this is stupid. Can't we just get to the part when the bird and raccoon reunite?! Kermit: Be patient, Stan. Anyway... (Scene switches to the gang at Barney's house) Homer: We're at Barney's? Benson: Yes, Homer. Before we found out that an elf captured Mordecai, I found a sound. It sounded like a drunk calling for help, so we're going to Barney's Rigby: Why are there more people at the back? Benson: Because, Rigby, they joined in when we got on to those motorcycles! Rigby: Okay, you don't have to yell! (Scene switches to Barney's room as the group enter and gasp) Homer: Barney! What happend?! Barney: A bunch of guys tied me to this chair so that they could find a box and a giant Blue Jay, and I told them the location Rigby: Thanks a lot, Barney! Benson: RIGBY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Rigby: Benson, you have serious anger issues! Benson: Well maybe I should fire Mordecai and you! Rigby: You forgotten the fact that I'd quitted work at the park, moved away to Stoolbend and got a job at a power plant (Benson facepalmed) Benson: Or maybe I should have killed you. Rigby: It's your fault you've letted Bart and Milhouse down that lava Pitt! Benson: My fault?! You were the one who letted me INTO THIS STUPID AND CRAPPY CROSS COUNTRY ADVENTURE WITH YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lisa: Benson! Benson: WHAT IS IT, LISA?!?!?!?!?!?!? Lisa: Nothing Marge: Number 1: You shout at Rigby for no reason and number 2: You scared Lisa Bart: Like what you did! Benson, Rigby, Marge and Lisa: WILL YOU KEEP YOU BUTT OUT OF THIS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Bart: Okay! Okay! Homer: Guys, we are not here to fight, we are here to investigate! And Barney's joining us! Benson: WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Homer: I said BARNEY'S JOINING US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Benson: I heard that Homer! Homer: You were supposed to, Benson! (Strangles Benson) Barney: And then the elf got out through the door and left me tied to the chair (Homer stops strangling Benson) Benson: Homer, hiring Barney for the quest is the best thing you ever did Homer: Thanks! Marge: Let's roll! Bart: Yeah, let's just get this over with. Homer: That's the second time you said that. (The gang, plus Barney, leave, and, after 20 seconds, Quillgin enters with Mordecai) Quillgin: Just as I thought! They've letted the drunk to get away! Mordecai: Maybe that was a good thing! Quillgin: Shut up, bird! Let's move out! (Having Mordecai look at him face to face) And that includes you! (Scene shows the gang in snow) Eileen: When are we gonna get to Stoolbend? CJ: Soon! (Peter and Hayley enter) Peter: Hey guys! Homer: Hi, Duff hater! Hayley: So, how you doing? Lisa: Good until... Peter and Hayley: Until what? Donna: (Off screen) HEEEEEEEEELP!!!!!!!!!!! (The gang enter Cleveland's house) Peter: Oh my God! Homer: What the hell happened!?!?!?!? Donna: An elf came in here and tied us to chairs while Cleveland went to Stoolbend for no reason! Benson: Did you say an elf? Donna: Yes! Benson: And did you say Stoolbend? Cleveland Jr: What are you? Deaf or something? Roberta: No! It's for a reason! CJ: Of what? Roberta: That something happend after this mess! Donna: So what your saying is that something happend after this incident Meathook: Let's move out! We've crashed into two pads and found nothing except people tied to chairs and have the same reason why! (Pointing at Donna, Cleveland Jr, Rallo and Roberta) And your coming with us! Benson: First Homer, now you, Meathook! Meathook: Actually, it's Stanley. I gave up that name when I met Ramrod Benson: Move! Marge: No arguments, Benson! CJ: Yeah, we gotta move before we get caught and killed Meathook: Yeah, what cloudy old lady said! (CJ sterns) Lisa: Sorry, CJ! That's how biker gangs speak! And they do violence and scratch their butts with books! CJ: That explains it! Marge: We're waiting! (Scene switches to the room) Wallace: Kermit, I'm disappointed! Kermit: Well, don't be! Even if we're not related, you would say that! Wallace: There's a better story at another house! Spongebob: Actually, Wallace, we are happy with this one! Plankton: Yeah! So go home, you big jerk! Wallace: (Gasps) I've got my eye on you, Kermit! Kermit: Okay! After this story, I'll tell everyone a proper Christmas story Everyone: WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Mr. Krabs: But Kermit, We love your stories all the same! Wallace: Okay! Come on in, everyone! (A lot of stop motion characters enter the room) Coraline: So, about the... Kermit: Oh yeah the story! Anyway... (Scene switches to the Brown living room) Quillgin: Look at this, gentlemen. Rope! Mordecai: A to do list? At this time of year? Quillgin: Hang the decorations, prepare the food, sleep, celebrate Christmas in the morning! Mordecai: Don't even think about it! Quillgin: A tear! Where did you get this?! Mordecai: No where! That belongs to CJ! Quillgin: Let's move out! We gotta find that box! Mordecai: I'm not on your side, elf! Quillgin: Shut up! (Scene shows the gang on a walk) Peter: It's a great time you to return from Texas and be with us today, Hayley Hayley: Thanks Rigby: This walk is taking forever! Benson: Be patient, Rigby! (Scene shows the gang at a house) Donna: (Gasps) My old house! Benson: And someone left the door open Rigby: Well whoever it is, he or she is gonna taste my butt! Rallo: Wait! (The gang gasp) Peter: Meg! (While uniting Meg) Oh my heavily stopped abused daughter, what the hell happened?! Meathook: Lemme guess, an elf did this and left you like this? Meg: Yeah! Benson: (While uniting Neil) Well we gotta leave fast! Donna: I suspect that the elf trapped Cleveland! Benson: Well when we get Cleveland out, we go back here. I got the tape! Lenny: And I got the box! Anais: Oh my God, Lenny. Your just better than Rigby to carry a box Rigby: Hey! Anais: Just kidding! You two are both good! Lenny: Thanks (The gang leave out of the door as Quillgin enters the room) Quillgin: Same as before! Everytime we enter the house to kill the tied up, I just find the house empty! Mordecai: Then that means that Rigby is smarter than usual! Quillgin: That stupid raccoon won't have everyone freed from my wrath! Hess the dumbest animal on the face of Earth! Move! We'll have good luck when we get to the apartments! (Scene switches to the outside of the apartments) Cleveland: (Off Screen) HEEEEEEEEELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Donna: Cleveland! Where are you?! Cleveland: (Off Screen) IN THE VAN!!!!!!!!!!!! (Scene switches to Benson at a window) Benson: Funny. I thought for a second that... Cleveland: (Off Screen) I'M AT THE BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Donna opens the back door) Cleveland: (Gasps) Oh! Thanks, Donna! Donna: What happened? Meathook: An elf put you in there? Cleveland: Yeah! Then I heard snowploughs! Donna: Snowploughs? (Cleveland nods) Donna: When are there snowploughs in Stoolbend? Cleveland: Dunno Benson: Come on, guys. Back to Meg's! (The gang leave, but didn't notice Quillgin) Quillgin: Oh, Cleveland... Mordecai: Don't even... (While in the van) Mordecai: That's smart, Rigby. And it's great! Quillgin: Lousy no-good raccoon! At least I still have you! (Mordecai gulps as the scene switches to Meg's house) Peter: Come on, Benson! Hayley: Yeah! Meg: We have been waiting in this room for like... Benson: An elf is after the box Lenny's holding. But we won't have time to show the tape because... Lenny: Lemme see! (Gasps) (Scene shows Quillgin, his hencemen and Mordecai out of the house) Mordecai: RIGBY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Rigby: MORDECAI!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Benson grabs Rigby as the gang runs out the door) Benson: RUN!!!!!!!!!! (As the gang leave out the door, Lisa has been grabbed at the foot and dragged along) Homer: LISA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Cleveland: Quick! In the van! (The gang get into the back while Cleveland and Donna close the back, enter the front and drive the van away) Quillgin: (While tying up Lisa's hands at the back) Well, Lisa, I just think that you would never be that smart. (While handcuffing Lisa onto Mordecai) However, I can't have you telling all of your stupid friends, but, you have someone to talk to Lisa: (Looking at Quillgin face to face) Thanks for nothing, you mean old elf! (Quillgin points a gun at Lisa's face) Quillgin: More insults and you are a goner! (Scene shows the inside of Cleveland's van) Rigby: So, what happened? Homer: We lost two people thanks to that stupid elf! Marge: I just hope that we'll be okay on on rescuing Mordecai Rigby: And? Lenny: And Lisa. But what's important as that is that we need to keep of this box! Rigby: Yeah! And Mordecai and Lis had survived greater Situations! Benson: I can't believe we're at the back of a van! Anyway, Rigby, if we did go to the lava pit, Mordecai would probably be killed right now Bart: Yeah and that elf is more tuff than Sideshow Bob! He can kill Lis in a minute! Rigby: Yeah, but I've seen things out of that window! Mordecai's still alive! CJ: Yeah! Rigby: And Lisa's still alive as well! Homer: Hey, your right! Rigby: Next stop: East Pines! Homer: Then to my house for my party! Rigby: No, Homer, just to East Pines. Benson: We can get special help. (Scene switches to East Pines) Rigby: We have to enter Quietly! (Scene switches to the room) Coraline: This is getting longer and longer! Wallace: How long until it ends? Stan (American Dad!): Yeah! Each sentence is boring me! Kermit: Soon! Anyway... (Scene switches to the gang) Kermit: (Off screen) As our heroes walk more, they go near a snowman Rigby: Just walk right passed it! Don't touch the nose! Homer: Seriously?! There's nothing more threatning as a snowman! (Homer accidentally touches the nose and, as a result, sirens are heard and loads of security guards appear around the gang) Security guard: Put your hands up! Don't go near the snowman! Rigby: I told you not to go near the snowman! Homer: Yeah, but you didn't tell me why! (Scene switches to The Broken Stool) Quillgin: Alright, bartender, this is the second time! What was the last time you've seen that stupid black?! Gus: In a van heading this way and not that! Lisa: Smove move not listening to the letter! Mordecai: And you! Quillgin: Yeah, so now that you two are here, we need to kill all of the rest! Lisa: I could've gotten into the van if you didn't drag me away! Quillgin: Wrong move, Brown! Let's move out! (Scene switches to the gang tied to chairs) Gene: (Off screen) a heavy load of new prankers! (On screen) Bikers and more teaming up to pull off a lame prank?! Meathook: We're not here to prank you man! Bart: Yeah! Weree just here to destroy... Gene: Bart, I expect that your here to destroy your sweater! Peter: Your an idiot, we are here to destroy the box plus a stupid elf is back! Gene: You mean the box that I fight over 2 years ago?! That is a prank! Lenny: No it isn't! Security Guard: Um sir, they are right. Gene: (Checked on the monitors, it shows Quillgin killing most of East Pines troops) IMPOSSIBLE!!!!!!!!!! Hayley: That tall guy has got to be the elf after the box!!!!!!!!! Peter: That idiot?! I thought he was a small elf! Rigby: Well turns out he was bigger. Gene: Lets untie these guys. (East Pine soldiers untied the gang) Gene: Let's roll! (Scene switches to the gang riding on snowploughs, Much to Meathook's dismay. Then it shows the cave) Rigby: Thanks for not being a jerk for the second time, Gene. Bart: Yeah! Meathook: The next time you put us in something that's not a motorcycle, I'm gonna crash into your pad, man! Gene: But these were the only thing i got, by the way, try using the stairs. (Snowboarding while leaving) Rigby: We will! Lenny: Rigby, he's lying! Let's just go in! (The gang enter to a dead end) Lenny: See? It's a dead end! Rigby: Wait for it... (The gang go down a slide and sceam as the scene switches to a cave. The gang go up a gap as Rigby screams for a final time) Lenny: Let's get this thing done! (Screams when he sees the skeleton and goes down the floor) Rigy: Get up, Lenny! Benson: Bart, your THOUGHT THAT QUILLGIN WAS AN UBAN LEGEND REVIVED A LOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lenny: Gene didn't tell us about any booby traps! Bart: And here's the reason why! A door is right past the skeleton! Benson: NO, DON'T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Bart steps on one of the tiles and a spike appears. He screams) CJ: You stand corrected, Bart! Donna: (Walks to writing on the wall next to the trap) There's writing here. Lenny: What does it say? Donna: (Reading) Crack the code, a door will open. One wrong step, forever broken. Lenny: I get it. If we step on the tiles like in the drawings, the door will open. Bart: I'm not stepping on one of those things ever again, Homer! Homer: Just try me! Rigby: Let's use that guy. (Points to the skeleton) He's already dead. Lenny: (Holding the skeleton's legs) Alright Rigby, read me the instructions. Rigby: Um, middle, left, left, middle, up, right, down. (The spikes retract and the skeleton falls) Lenny: (Throws the skeleton away) D'oh! I's not working, Rigby! Peter: (Gives Benson his shirt) Hold on to this, my mom gave it to me. Benson: Wait, Peter! (Peter jumps into the trap and begins to repeat the steps; a ice spike nearly penetrates him) The gang: Watch out! (Peter continues to repeat the steps and the door opens; the guys congratulate him as they go by) Peter: WHOO! That thing didn't even touch me! (All of the ice spikes come out) Peter: Whoa, guys. I almost died. Donna: Let's keep moving. Peter: No, seriously guys, did you see that? I almost died, I really almost died! (The gang went to the door as the scene switches to Quillgin investigating) Quillgin: Zoom in! (Scene shows Lenny and Rigby with the box before having a close up) Quillgin: There it is... Gene: (Off Screen) You'll never get their on time! (On Screen) They've probably Mordecai: Don't, don't don't! (Quillgin kicks Gene to shut him up) Quillgin: Let's move out (Quillgin leaves as the scene switches to the gang on a slide) Benson: Hey, maybe we should run to the door like we always do. Lenny: Oh wow look! A pinball machine! (The gang walk to the pinball machine) CJ: It's a booby trap! Meathook: Yeah and look, writing! Bart: Donna, read it! Donna: (Reading) Wreak up points, a bridge will flow. Lose a ball, watch out below (Donna and Lenny go over the edge to a deep end) Lenny: You have got to be kidding me! (Scene switches to the room) Kermit: CORALINE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Coraline: Not wanna be near that witch! Not in a million years! Wallace: She has a point! Kermit: Okay! All of the villains, Out! Enter the second next door! (The villans go to the wrong next door) Kermit: NO, NOT THAT NEXT DOOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT NEXT DOOR (The villans go to the right next door) Kermit: So, uh, anyway... (Scene switches to the ice room) Bart: (Shaking off the snow from the pinball machine) You gotta be kidding me! It doesnt even have a screen! Benson: Move! This pinball machine is clearly... Homer: Before the boy's time? Benson: Exactly, Homer! (Benson starts playing) Lenny: Look at him go! Rigby: Keep going, Benson (Benson loses a ball and a gap is made. Peter falls in and is caught by Donna) Bart: Hey, Benson! It looks like it's before your time too, Benson! (Bart gets punched in the arm by Homer) Bart: Ow! Homer! Homer: Ignore the boy, Benson! You got this! Anais: Guys, I don't wanna interupt Benson, but look! (The Gang look behind them to reveal Quillgin, his Hencman, Mordecai and Lisa as they all gasp) Quillgin: Gimme the box! Benson: Quick! Eveyyone just go, right now! Quillgin: Get them! (The gang successfully runned to the door, the floor collapse as Quillgin's hechmen falled to their death) Quillgin: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Scene switches to a room where the polar bear lives) Lenny: Well THAT was easy! Rigby: Yeah, but it was like last time! Homer: A close one? Rigby: Yeah! Something like that! Meathook: We gotta stomp him! CJ: But how?! Donna: Another booby trap?! Eileen: How could that help? Homer: Donna, read it Hayley: Please. What could it do? Donna: (Reading) Wrestle a bear, don't lose Lenny: WAIT, WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! (The polar bear come out of a tunnel) Benson: POPS IS'NT AROUND, SO WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Rigby: You can try to not get yourself angry and at last minute, you get the bear deaf! Benson: Rigby, that's ridiculous! I can't do that! It'll take forever! Lenny: He's got a point! (Scene switches to the room) Stan (Gravity Falls) : This is getting exciting! Everyone: GRUNKLE STAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stan (Gravity Falls): Okay, okay! Tell the stupid story, stupid frog! Kermit: I have a name, Stan! Stan (Gravity Falls): Whatever! Kermit: THIS IS GETTING RIDICULOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WILL EVERYONE STOP INTURUPTING, PLEASE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Miss Cantwell: Yeah, guys! Stop it all! Kermit: Ednia Cantwell, what are you doing here? This story contains blondes! Miss Cantwell: I now don't think that all blondes are stupid. But, Lisa thinks I still do! Kermit: Okay! Anyway... (Scene switches to the gang) Meg: I can't assault a bear! Homer and Peter: Two fat guys can't kill a bear! Benson: YOU MEAN THAT NO ONE KNOWS HOW TO TAKE ON A BEAR?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Hayley: (Off screen) I do! (Hayley enters the ring) Meg: Hayley, don't do it! Lenny: Yeah, you haven't got the strength! Hayley: I can just imagine that Jeff dumped me! (Hayley fights the bear) Benson: You were right, Lenny. Hayley doesn't have the strength! Peter: Oh my God! Hayley's rising! Hayley: Au revoir, BEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Hayley fights the bear and succeeds) Rigby: Way to go. Bart: Yeah that was pretty good. Peter: WATCH OUT!!!!!!!!!!! THAT BEAR IS RISING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (The bear rises) Bear: You've past the test of fighting me. And now, you are free to the lava pit for a first and second time (Sene switches to the room) Stan (American Dad!): What do you mean by For a first and second time? It's confusing me! Coraline: He means that some of the gang went there years ago! Kermit: Only two of them. And we thought we had a deal! No interruptions! Anyway... (Scene switches to the bear as he opens his stomach) Anais: Ugh! Gross! (Lenny walks over to the bear) Lenny: WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! ANOTHER SLIDE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Donna: Just go in! (Lenny screams as he goes downs the slide) (The gang went to the lava pit) Lenny: Here we are. Quillgin: So you made it so far. (Jumps from the ceiling) But you are actually too late this time. Mordecai: RIGBY!!!!!!!!!!! Lisa: DAD!!!!!!! Homer: LISA!!!!!! Bart: How did you get here before us!? The bridge was broke! Quillgin: I used the stairs. (Points at the stairs) Rigby: AND YOU SAID THAT THE STAIRS DON'T EXIST!!!!!!!! Lenny: Sorry, but I didn't think there might be stairs. Quillgin: You freaks had me on quite a goose chase. And now, its time for Christmas domination. So, hand over the box! Rigby: No! Don't do it, Lenny! Quillgin: Enough! It's mine! Don't make me do something drastic! Bart: (Sighs) Lenny, he has a gun Benson: We all tried our best, so give him the box Lenny: (Sighs) Sorry, Mordecai and Lisa (Lenny walks over to Quillgin) Quillgin: That's it (Suddemly something got on Quillgin attacking him revealing to be Skips and Santa) Rigby: Santa! Skips! Mordecai: Wow! Peter: Wait a freaking minute! I thought you didn't make Invisible cloaks! Santa: We can totally make them! (Skips and Santa slide down) Skips: It's just that only one year it was a gift! Quillgin: I shall not die this time! Have luck surviving this, Rigby Riggerson! (Quillgin throws a grenade at the gang) Lenny: LOOK OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (The gang duck the grenade and as it explodes, Quillgin takes the box) Quillgin: Now i finally have my gift once again. A present so sweet, no one can fight over it, and Santa will now cancel Christmas. But he won't. And now I must destroy his live's work. Magic box, give me what I desire the most, the destruction of Christmas forever! (The gang, Lisa, Mordecai, Santa and Skips in horror as dynamite are spreading aroud the world. A button then shows) Quillgin: One push of this deathimnator, and Christmas is gone forever (Lenny rises up in anger) Lenny: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Lenny pushes Quillgin) Rigby: LENNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Rigby falls in with Lenny) Benson: (Off screen) Rigby, no! (Lenny tackles Quillgin and punches him in the face, grabbing onto Lisa and Mordecai. Quillgin kicks Lenny on the chin and goes after the box and grabs it, but Rigby grabs on the box as well. Quillgin wants the button, and Rigby wants ice crem. The box can't decide and Quillgin grabs the box. Rigby steals it of Quillgin, but Quillgin grabs Rigby by the feet) Rigby: Get off! Lenny, Lisa and Mordecai: (Off screen) RIGBY!!!!!!! (On screen) LET GO!!!!!!!!!!!! (Rigby lets go of the box as Lenny grabs the box and pulls off a flying sled. He then lets go of the box and as Quillgin goes after the box, Rigby screams, but Lenny gets him on the sled) Quillgin: (Falling to the lava pit along with the box) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Died in the lava pit along with the box) (Scene switches to Benson) Benson: MORDECAI!!!!!!!!!! RIGBY!!!!!!!!! LISA!!!!!! LENNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Lenny comes up with Lisa, Mordecai and Rigby) Lenny: It's done Everyone: HOORAY!!!!!!!!!!! (Everyone, except for Lisa and Mordecai, hugs each other) Anais: (Off Screen) Christmas is saved! (Scene switches to the Simpson house as The gang go off Santa's sleigh) The gang: Bye, Santa! Mordecai: See ya next year! Santa: Lisa? Lisa: Yeah? Santa: I just wanna say that despite the fact that your letter didn't work, you were really something out there Lisa: I take after my Mom (Santa leaves) Santa: (Off Screen) Ho, Ho, Ho! Merry Christmas! Mordecai: Thanks, Rigby. Sorry, Lis Lisa: Happens all the time Marge: I was wondering that you guys were thinking "Why did Marge tell Santa to send us to the Simpson house?" Mordecai: Yeah, why? Marge: This! (Marge enters the Simpson's living room with the gang, filled with Kermit, the cartoon characters and the rrst of the park workers) Coraline: Hey! Marge: Hey! Muscle man: Since you guys were all busy, we took up a preparing job for Marge Marge: Have a seat, guys. Watch the show Mordecai: What show? (Spongebob sings Don't Be a Jerk) Kermit: The end! Wallace: Good thing! Kermit: Let's get onto that second Christmas story, guys! (End of Saving Private Christmas) Category:Specials Category:Crossovers Category:Episodes Category:Hour long episodes